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Hey, I’m Amy

Your confidant, cheerleader, coach and compassionate challenger to take you from focusing all of your energy and attention on others, to building the clarity, courage, confidence and communication skills to become ‘responsibly selfish’ and design a life that feels good for you too.

I See You…

Exhausted… Guilty… Stressed…

Frustrated… Anxious… Overwhelmed…

Not so long ago I was in your shoes, dragging myself through life, searching for the light. I was miserable, stuck, unfulfilled and completely disconnected from myself and the people around me. I was trying so hard to stuff down my feelings and put my ‘I’m fine’ mask on that I didn’t know who I was, how I felt or what I wanted anymore.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

I learned the hard way that you can’t drink from an empty cup and this is why it’s my mission to empower you to become responsibly selfish and liberate yourself from the weight of expectation and responsibility you are carrying. Let me show you how to reconnect with yourself and create a life that includes your needs too. 

  • Why keep letting fear, guilt, and uncertainty hold you back?
  • Why keep letting your needs take a back seat to everything else?
  • Why keep crawling into bed feeling exhausted and dreading having to get up and do it all again tomorrow?
  • Why stay stuck in this rinse and repeat rut you are in?
  • Why keep saying yes and feeling your heart sink?
  • Why keep silencing yourself and making yourself smaller to fit into someone else’s world?
  • Why wait until you reach breaking point?

Imagine knowing exactly who you are, how you feel, and what you want (or don’t want) and being able to express this confidently to the people around you.

What if you stopped forsaking yourself for others, saying yes and then feeling your heart sink, deferring to others to make decisions about your life, dismissing and playing down your feelings and opinions, and doing things out of a sense of obligation instead of because you want to?

What if you didn’t have to give, perform, please or be perfect to be enough? What if you knew that who you are (right now) is more than enough?

I know it’s possible to make these changes because I’ve done it, and so have my clients.

But here’s what I want you to know. I’m not special. Neither are my clients (although they are pretty awesome). We are just regular people who want more than to work ourselves into the ground. We all started with fears and doubts. And yet, we’ve all made changes in our lives that bring us more happiness and fulfilment, simply because we decided to take the leap.

And if it’s possible for us, it’s totally possible for you too!

What is Responsibly Selfish?

  • Striking a balance between caring for others & honouring your needs too.
  • Caring better, not less.
  • Doing what is right for you, not necessarily what is easy.
  • Using your inner wisdom rather than deferring to others to make decisions.
  • Embracing who you are and, as a result, becoming better at loving yourself and others too.
  • Understanding where you end and others begin.
  • Having difficult conversations and speaking your truth.
  • Being a little selfish sometimes to take care of your emotional, mental and physical wellbeing.
  • Asking for and accepting help.

My Story…

“Why can’t you just be normal,” he said. My face scrunched as I searched my brain trying to understand what he meant. I was a master at moulding myself like play-dough to fit into the boxes other people created for me. It just didn’t compute. How he could see me as not normal! I’ll try harder. I’ll make myself smaller. I’ll take up less space. I’ll do whatever it takes. And I did. And it still wasn’t enough.

Broken. Alone. Exhausted. Again. How many more times am I going to reconfigure myself to meet other people’s expectations. Deferring to them to make the ‘right’ decision. Saying yes and feeling my heart sink. Is this it? Is this what my life is going to be? Creating a picture that looks perfect to everyone else but leaves me dying slowly inside. I’ve got so good at suppressing my emotions, fitting in, being the good girl, that I no longer know who I am, what I want, or what I feel.

I go through the motions each day. Drag myself out of bed. Go to the job that looks good on paper but that’s changed beyond recognition and now drains the joy from my soul. I know I’m no longer giving them the best version of me. I just want to stop the world and get off! I have so many boxes and I’m running out of playdough! I have to find another way…

“Their happiness is not your responsibility,” says my coach. It hits me like a punch from Mike Tyson! Wait, what? You mean I’ve spent the last 30+ years of my life trying to contort myself to be pleasing and you’re saying that’s not what I’m meant to do? Suddenly a thought pops into my head – what if I stopped focusing on others and concentrated on building a life for myself that I didn’t have an overwhelming urge to escape from? What would that even look like? Wouldn’t that be selfish? Where would I start?

“I don’t know what you’re not saying or who you’re not saying it to but I feel like you need to speak your truth” says the healer on the yoga retreat I’d booked in a desperate attempt to try to feel better. Boom! Speak your truth. Those words whirl round and round my head like a merry-go-round. I can’t do that….can I?

“I’m not the person to sell this for you,” I say to my boss. “And this is why I won’t do this presentation.” My heart is pounding in my chest as I say these words. My palms sweaty, my mouth dry. This kind of honesty is new to me. I have spent my life avoiding conflict and managing what other people think by adapting my words and behaviour, so this feels incredibly vulnerable. I brace myself for impact. To my astonishment, it doesn’t come. “Ok,” says my boss.

Slowly I start to unpick where they end and I begin. I reconnect with my feelings, with my wants and needs. I start to recognise the whispers of my heart that act as my internal compass to keep me on track, and I make choices that feel right for me. In doing so I learn who my people are. Most importantly I learn who I am and that who I am is more than enough. My confidence, courage, and communication soar. Who wants to be normal! I finally claim my space in the world.

This Is Me…

  • Animal and nature lover.
  • Sociable introvert.
  • Salsa dancer
  • Red wine or tea…..occasionally some water!
  • Homebody who loves adventures.
  • Creative, curious people person.
  • Loves to learn new things.
  • Warmth, be it from other human beings, roaring fires or bright sunshine
  • Values: Wellbeing | Authenticity | Balance | Empathy | Belonging | Courage | Growth | Freedom | Trust.
  • Superpower: Connecting with people so they feel truly seen, heard, and valued

The Credentials 

  • Member of the Association for Coaching (MAC)
  • International Coach Federation (ICF) endorsed diploma in Transformational Coaching.
  • Accredited certificates in Emotional Intelligence, Positive Psychology, Confidence Coaching and Group Coaching and Facilitation.
  • Fully insured, DBS, and ICO certified.
  • Certified to use the DISC Personal Assessment tool, which helps develop greater self-awareness, improve communication and build better relationships.
  • 20+ years experience in people and project management positions.
  • Personality Profiles: Myers Briggs: ISFP, Wealth Dynamics: Star, DISC: SI (Advisor), Enneagram: 2 – The Helper.

 

 

“I believe deep in my heart that life is easier when we find the courage to be true to ourselves, and this for me, is real freedom”